Adventures in Adult Education

Darkness and Douchebags

2007-07-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Everybody hates Monday. It is the hated around the entire world. If they didn't have America, psychotic Johnny Jihad's (No relation), would be strapping on the suicide vests to protest Monday. I hate Monday. In typical Monday fashion, my day proceeded to fucking blow. My boss came around about 9:00am and starting quizzing me about what I was doing with my class that day. Well I knew something was up because he does this when he's trying to dump something particularly shitty in my lap and thinks he's being smooth. It turned out, he wanted me to teach a class for him that day because he had a VERY important golf tournament. Seriously, what the fuck? Normally, I couldn't care less that he skates out of work for various "important" tournaments, or as he calls them "meetings". It usually only makes my day better....until I get shit on. Oh well, I just ended up putting my normal class on extended coffee breaks, and a long lunch.

In the class I'm teaching right now, is this guy from Jersey, that looks like Charlie Murphy. I mean no shit, seriously like Charlie Murphy. Of course every time I talk to him, I dub in my own version of what he's saying, and it usually is something like "Cocaine's a helluva drug!" "UNITY!!!!" "Black MAGIC!!! Darkness!!!". This is kind of distracting when he's trying to ask me questions about assignments and tests. Damn you God! Why would you make two Charlie Murphy's? I need to talk about the Question Tard, and obnoxious Groveler Tard, but they need their own entry. Good night world, it's happy hour.

Creative Minority Report: Hire Hookers for Educators Now! - A Catholic Blog: Religion, Politics, Current Events, Humor, and more.

2007-07-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Creative Minority Report: Hire Hookers for Educators Now! - A Catholic Blog: Religion, Politics, Current Events, Humor, and more.

Origami Freak

2007-07-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

My schedule was open for a couple of weeks so I agreed to help out a co-worker with one of his classes so that he could take a couple of days off. The teachers that don't take time off are usually the ones that pick up a 40oz every night on the way home. Putting adults of various ages, races, and economic backgrounds into a classroom environment creates a social dynamic like something out of that movie Dangerous Minds, the one where Coolio did the soundtrack. So I had a class room full of people that I knew nothing about, and really didn't want to change that. Most of our coursework is hands-off, computer based training after a teacher lectures on a particular subject. That translates into lots of time on Fark.com for me. I go into the class room ever hour or so, to see if there are any questions or generally just to shoot the shit, with the more intelligent students. On this particular afternoon I walk in, and nobody immediately bugs me with questions, which obviously pleases me. I just happened to be walking by this one woman's desk, before I stop in amazement. It's covered in a fucking origami fantasy forest. Now let me give you a little background on said freakjob, Jane. She is somewhere between 25-30, looks like Napoleon Dynamite, with a definite unibrow that is in need of a trim, and speaks fluent Chinese. Why she speaks fucking Chinese, I don't know. She just throws random Chinese phrases out, and then laughs manically. Anyway, this origami park of weirdness has every creature ever fantasized about by World of Warcraft nerds, and then some. I asked Jane, just what in the Hell she was doing, since she had an assignment due at the end of the day. She replied by showing me her paper claws that she had on both hands and hissing at me like a damn cat. I wasn't really that surprised. This was better than dealing with the girl who had been gang raped and decided to unload on me about it. I just kept thinking about the six pack of Shiner in my fridge at home.